


When I see my face in the mirror, we look so alike that it makes me shiver

by theLadyofBelmont, Yellow (theLadyofBelmont)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actually more like Slytherin vs. All the Houses rivalry, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asian Character(s), Bigotry & Prejudice, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Characters learn from their mistakes, Depression related thoughts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fuck Hogwarts, Gen, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Slytherins, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, Hate Crimes, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hufflepuff/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Lots of Angst, Mentioned Harry Potter, Mentioned Hermione Granger, Mentioned Ron Weasley, Mentioned Voldemort (Harry Potter), Minor Swearing, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Female Character, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, References to Depression, Slytherin, Slytherin Pride, Slytherins are not treated well, Thought you should know, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23174668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theLadyofBelmont/pseuds/theLadyofBelmont, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theLadyofBelmont/pseuds/Yellow
Summary: Life is hard for young Slytherins after the Battle of Hogwarts
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing in the Harry Potter fandom, so please forgive any mistakes in the cannon (I read the series a long time ago so the cannon parts are from what I remember from them and the movies) The protagonist is my original character Andromeda Yamazaki, her mum is an English witch and her dad is a Japanese muggle (it's my first time creating an important character for a fic so I hope you like her as much as I do!) I chose that name for her because Andromeda is a constellation and she is an astronomy enthusiast and because of Andromeda Black (one of the few Slytherins considered "good" we see in the books) and also because I like it!; and Yamazaki because Naoko Yamazaki was the second Japanese woman (after Chiaki Mukai) to become an astronaut, and since Andromeda wants to work in that business in the future (not become an astronaut exactly but maybe a space engineer) I thought it fitted well.  
> Her friends are other original characters of mine but the fic also features some cannon characters as well.  
> The title of this fic is part of a song from The Script called "If you could see me now", it's a song I really like and that holds a lot of meaning to the story!  
> Anyway, I hope you like it, I'll post the other chapters soon!

-Don’t. -she murmured softly but placed her hand firmly on her friend’s arm.

-Why? –she didn’t put her wand down but didn’t continue to pull it out of her pocket either. _A small victory._

-It is exactly what Poppy wouldn’t want us to do.

Dahlia’s scowl deepened. She normally didn’t appear too threatening but in times like the present she managed. After all, there was life before the Battle of Hogwarts and then there was life _after_ the Battle of Hogwarts. –It is exactly what Poppy would do.

_That is…true enough. I really didn’t think this through._

She reflected for a second and rephrased. –She wouldn’t want you to get kicked out of the team.

-We can’t just leave them Ands, they’re snakes too! - Dahlia protested with an eagerness Andromeda didn’t understand where it came from.

-Is your sister there?

-I don’t think so. -she squinted.- But Marcus’ brother is, though.

Andromeda let out a long sigh. Their friend wouldn’t hesitate to step in and help the young Slytherins weren’t he resting at the infirmary after getting knocked out by a Bludger in the first Quidditch match of the season.

_Poppy would swing right in too; no wand, no magic, no nothing; just her and her mighty fists. But we are not her. I am not her. So what should I do?_

-Do your thing. –her friend suggested as though she were reading her mind.

-Dahlia, I…

-I know; I know you told me you didn’t trust yourself to do it properly, but it doesn’t have to be perfect, just convincing enough to scare them away. I wouldn’t ask you if I could think of another way, -she looked at her for the first time in a while, honey eyes pleading. –but you’re right, if I get into more trouble I’ll be kicked out of the team. And while I refuse to grant Acker the pleasure of playing against an amateur seeker, I will go down there if needed.

Andy rolled her eyes but stood up nonetheless, ignoring the slight tremble of her knees. –You have terribly effective puppy-dog eyes for a jock. You owe me one.

-Thank you so much, Ands, really. - Dahlia said, sincerity bleeding into her voice, making the young witch feel guilty for being tempted to refuse her.

 _She’s actually doing me a favour, pushing me to do what I didn’t dare to. Poppy would be proud of her_.

She went behind the tree they were sitting under. _Deep breaths, Andy, concentrate, don’t mess it up. Deep breaths; you know her, you can do it._

Her heart fluttered and she felt her skin morph as if it turned over itself, in a way that came as familiar to her as breathing. She emerged only a few seconds later, her face one she hadn’t worn in a while.

-Dals would you change my robes for me, please?

Dahlia couldn’t help the smile that curled at her lips. She hadn’t seen her friend shift in so long and, despite whatever she said, it was clear she enjoyed it. At least a little bit.

She nodded pulling her wand out and twisted her wrist in that characteristic way of hers. Andromeda’s uniform was instantly replaced by long formal robes that went past her ankles, brushing the grass underneath her feet gently.

She scoffed. –Wow, wordless spells, huh? You’re such a nerd.

That only widened Dahlia’s grin. - Like you aren’t.

-I know I am, I was just pointing out that you are, in fact, a big nerd _and_ a jock.

The young seeker shrugged. –I like to cover my bases. You’re up now, Professor. - she cheered, giving her a little nudge on her shin.- Go teach them a lesson!

Andy arched a penciled eyebrow.- You mean save our kids?

-That’s exactly what I meant.

-I hope so, Miss Flynn. –she said adopting the Scottish accent she had perfected over time, and walking past her and down the grassy slope, still green with the last remains of summer slowly freezing and giving way to autumn.

Walking on uneven ground with short heels and robes that got in the way was no easy task but Andy knew she had to manage as best she could. Professor McGonagall couldn’t be seen tripping and falling on school grounds.

Luckily they weren’t far. She could hear the little eleven-year-olds asking the Gryffindors to stop while they hung them upside down in the air or placed them on top of tree branches. Tight fingers clutched her heart and something bitter began to bubble inside her very core, the older kids’ laughter ringing in her ears.

She didn’t need to fake her rage as she yelled when she was close enough. - FOR MERLIN’S BEARD! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!? PUT THEM DOWN! IMMEDIATELY!

The students jumped, clearly not expecting to get caught red-handed and almost dropped the kids. They stuttered something Andromeda could not quite make sense of and lowered them gently to the ground. They rushed to get their wands laying a few meters behind them and scrambled away in fearful silence.

Andy suppressed the impulse to look back and instead glared at the older wizards. There were five of them, four Gryffindors and a Hufflepuff. Her heart dropped a little; everyone tended expect kindness and goodness from Hufflepuffs but perhaps that was too idealistic a generalisation.

Five sixteen- year olds against three eleven-year old Slytherins whose only crime had probably been that of being a snake.

She recognised Gaven, the Gryffindor seeker, and his Hufflepuff counter-part between the aggressors. She clenched her fists inside her long sleeves. It wasn’t the first time those two did something like that and still they participated in every match. Meanwhile, Dahlia was risking being expelled of the team or relegated to the bench for protecting kids from people like them.

Her lips became a thin line and seeing she couldn’t keep the anger out of her face she tried to make her tone as professional and icy as she could. -I cannot believe you would lower yourselves to do this; to anyone, but _especially_ to a younger opponent that could not defend himself. This is _not_ the behaviour expected from a Gryffindor. Or any student, for that matter. -she added, glaring at the curly haired Hufflepuff as he averted his eyes.

 _This is going well_ , she thought, mentally smiling. -I will inform Professor Sprout of this and she will decide the suspension she sees fit. As for you, - she turned to the four Gryffindors. Two of them had the decency to at least look down and blush a little, but the others, Gaven included, only looked mildly annoyed by getting caught. Andromeda gritted her teeth. -forty points will be taken from our house, for each of you, so that the lesson is learnt.

They gasped, bewildered and Andromeda realised she was enjoying it a bit too much.

Just as Gaven opened his mouth to protest, the position of his furrowed eyebrows changed, the anger melting into confusion. – Professor, are you…are you growing freckles?

_No._

_No, no, no._

Her chest tightened and ice rushed inside her veins.

 _Not again, not again, please._ Everything was going so well, she had been so careful.

_This can’t be happening. This is exactly why I told Dahlia…_

-Don’t try to deviate from the topic at hand, mister Acker. -she said, attempting to pull herself together and praying the panic hadn’t caught up with her voice.- I’m very disappointed on the five of you and I expect you to behave from now on. Today you’ve brought shame to your houses, - _Okay Andy, now you’re taking it too far. Wrap it up._ \- and I trust that you won’t do this again.

They had no time to agree, complain or ask any more questions; Andy turned, her robes flapping behind her and walked just a little too fast up the slope to hide the orange locks falling from her tight bun over her eyes.

_No; if I turn let it be back into myself, not into anyone else, at least not…_

When she arrived at the top, the freckles were gone and her slick black hair fell over her chest and down her back.

She fell to her knees, the grass tickling her legs under the skirt; her robes had changed back as well it seemed, and she took a deep breath, feeling weightless. A smile tugged at her lips.

_I did it._

-Andy! - was the only warning she got before 78 pounds of love tackled her in a bear hug and brought her down.

She smiled openly now and ruffled the kid’s black mane. - Felix, are you alright? -she pulled back and searching his face for bruises or cuts.

-Yeah, thanks to you I am. Dahlia told me everything. -he said, gesturing slightly to her friend.- Thanks for saving me and my friends; you were awesome back there, really scary.

Andromeda’s heart seemed to shrink a little; it wasn’t right that these kids were so terrified of a Professor. Yet again, Andy herself was at least intimidated by the new Headmistress of Hogwarts. -It’s alright, young man. It was my pleasure anyhow.

Felix snickered and looked back at Dahlia. - Marcus was right; she speaks like an old lady!

Andromeda gasped pretending to be offended. - What? Old you say? Well, this old lady just saved your bloody ass today, mate. Show her a little respect, would you? -she tickled him in the neck, the place she knew would certainly draw some laughter out of him. She wasn’t disappointed.

-Speaking of your brother, would you like to go see him? It’s past four already,- Dahlia intervened, standing up and brushing the leaves off her skirt.-so Madame Pomfrey would let us in.

-Yes! - Felix quickly lurched to his feet and held out his hand to help Andy up.

-I’m going too. -she said taking the chubby hand but using her own strength to lift herself. She knew an eleven-year-old wasn’t a baby but his fingers felt so tiny inside her own large ones she felt she would crash them if she held them too tight or take his whole arm out of place.-It seems I have to have a word with Marcus about this old lady thing.

Felix chuckled and ran ahead of them towards the castle, his tunic hugging the wind like a pair of huge black winds.

Dahlia locked her arm in hers as they followed. - So, I gather everything went alright?

_It didn’t. At all._

_But I can’t tell her that, can I?_

Despite it being the thing she craved the most, it wouldn’t do her any good to know she was loosing her grip on the metamorphmagus thing, that she kept turning into…

_No._

Dahlia worried too much already; she had always been like that, since the day they had first met. She had been wondering what would happened if the train malfunctioned and couldn’t start, had worried about the House she would be placed in and had begun to trace a plan in case she didn’t end up in the same house as her new found friends Andy and Poppy.

Without mentioning that Andromeda wouldn’t even know how to tell her. She didn’t fully understand it herself either, and explaining it to an outsider that didn’t share her powers would be even more difficult.

Besides, there was nothing she could do to help her. This was something Andy would have to solve on her own or ignore until it eventually went away. She was hoping for the latter.

She raised her head.

But _gosh_ lying to those scrutinising honey eyes wasn’t easy. They sometimes reminded her of her mother’s. She had, however, become quite the expert in that. And lucky for her, Dahlia hadn’t figured out all of her tells yet.

-Yeah. Yeah, everything went fine, I suppose. - _That’s it, keep it short and she won’t be able to tell._ The less she said the less that gave her away.

-You see? -she nudged her.- I knew you would pull it off. Thank you. -Dahlia hesitated before awkwardly patting her on the shoulder. It wasn’t much, but Andromeda had known her friend long enough to understand exactly how much the gesture meant. - I owe you one. Hey, Felix, wait for us! -she yelled and sprinted down the slope, leaving Andy to simply pick up the pace after her.

**…**

-We need to show you something. -Dahlia said now that they were just the three of them; the infirmary was practically deserted so they had all the privacy they could want. It hadn’t been easy to obtain, however; convincing Felix to leave had proved to be quite the challenge.

-I have to talk to them about something. - Marcus had told his brother after chatting for a while.

-About what?

-Grown-up stuff.

Felix groaned, already too familiar with the excuse. - I thought that would be over after the Battle.

A silence followed that no one knew how to fill. They all had hoped lots of things would be over after the Battle.

-Grown-up stuff is pretty boring. -Andy rushed to answer.

-Yeah, and besides Andy starts talking like a grandma so it’s really not that fun. –Dahlia pointed out before getting nudged by her friends elbow.

-You can come by tomorrow and help me convince Madame Pomfrey to let me leave. After all, I only got hit by a Bludger, it wasn’t that big a deal.- Marcus offered with a sided smile.

-You did fell of your broom though. -Felix considered for a moment. - I guess. –he said finally and slid off his brother’s bed. He placed a kiss on his cheek and waved the girls goodbye before skipping out of the infirmary.

After he was gone, Dahlia and Andy filled him in on what had happened that afternoon. Marcus was equal parts grateful to them and furious at Gaven and his mates; his black eyes shining with anger instead of their usual laughter.

-Show him Andy.-Dahlia spoke again.

Andy handed him the folded paper she had stuffed in her pocket. She had unsuccessfully tried to smooth out the wrinkles, and some of the shoe marks were darker where mud-covered boots had stepped on it, but it was legible enough.

Marcus stared at the picture off the smiling girl and read the name underneath it.-Daphne Mallek. Who is she?

-She was a third year Slytherin, she came a few times to our-my club. She, um, she died last year. -Andy explained.- At the Battle.- Looking down at the picture she realized sadly that she didn’t remember much of her.

A quiet ‘oh’ left Marcus barely parted lips as understanding sank in. - So this is…?

-Yeah, this is one if those memorials they’ve set all around the school; this one specifically is from the floor under the one outside the infirmary. –Dahlia’s eyes were aflame. The Battle of Hogwarts had changed them all in many ways. For Dahlia, it had apparently meant a deeper and more passionate sense of community and solidarity towards the kids in her House; which wouldn’t have been bad if it hadn’t been accompanied by a tendency to be more confrontational and reckless than she used to. The situation that day had been a clear example of that as well as other similar incidents since the start of the year. As for the rest of them, including herself, Andy was still trying to figure out.

\- Don’t you see what they are doing? They trash our memorials, belittle our dead. And the school _lets_ them. They are trying to erase us!

Magnus clutched the paper tightly. - You’re right, it’s really getting out of hand. I just…I didn’t expect them to love us, they never did, but I thought that after fighting alongside them they would at least respect us. I guess the whole thing with the Death Eaters just…

Dahlia snapped. -We did nothing! It’s not our fault that many older generations of Slytherins followed Voldemort. –she swallowed hard at the name. Years of not saying it aloud weren’t wiped away in just a few months. - And the other Houses conveniently choose to forget that Death Eaters came from all Houses, not just Slytherin.

-We should do something. -Magnus said after the pause that followed Dahlia’s words. - I mean, we’re basically the eldest of our House.

-Except we’re not. -Andy corrected him. - There’s still one class above us, and with the students they added it’s pretty crowded.

-Yeah, but it’s not like _they_ are going to do something about it.

There was life before the Battle of Hogwarts and then there was life after it. And in the latter, many of the sixth (now seventh) year students were dead and had been joined by older kids who had missed most of their school due to the escalating chain of events that culminate in the Battle. Needless to say, they had other things to worry about rather than chase after vandals.

-It doesn’t matter; Dahlia is right. We need to take care of our own. -Magnus insisted.

-The school is clearly not going to help us, -Dahlia added- so we should do it ourselves.

Magnus nodded in agreement so Andy felt like it was up to her to smack some sense into them. -Do what, exactly?

-I don’t know…maybe start like a…a guard system? -Magnus answered sheepishly; maybe he realised he had no idea what he was doing.

-You know what happened with that Dumbledore’s army a few years ago; creating a Slytherin army or whatever it is you have in mind is pointless.

-Then what do you suggest we do? -Dahlia huffed trying not to turn her anger on her friend.

Now it was Andromeda’s time to hesitate. She had no plan of action but it was clear something had to be done; Andy herself was growing tired of picking up pictures of dead Slytherins and sticking them back up on the wall, knowing full well they were likely to be taken down and stomped over again. Yet something like a House army would be seen as outrageous and the hate towards them would only increase; apart from the fact that there was no telling how many students would be willing to join. –Let me talk to a Professor about this, someone who will listen.

-Who?

 _Another great question_. Professor Flitwick wouldn’t; Hagrid hated Slytherins so there was no point on asking him. Professor Trelawney lived in her own world but there had to be others, right?

-Maybe Slughorn or Professor Sprout. -her friends raised equally skeptical eyebrows.- I’ll talk to them if you want. – _What am I doing_? -And if they don’t listen then I’ll…I’ll go to Professor McGonagall. - _Did I just promise that? Why did I promise that!?_

-I don’t know Andy…-Marcus started –Do you really believe that would work, I mean…

-Please, let me try. –she liked this idea no more than they did, but if her friends decided to go ahead with this…this plan of theirs then they would be targeted and in even greater danger. She had no guarantee the Professors would help her but at least she could buy herself some time to figure out something else. - Let me try this first and if it doesn’t work then…

-Then we’ll do it our way. –Dahlia seemed to settle.

Andy opened her mouth to say something but hesitated again _. You’ll regret it if something happens to them and you didn’t warn them._

-You guys should be careful, though.

Dahlia stiffened in her chair beside her. - Wh-why?

-If these attacks continue, it won’t take long before friendly sports rivalry turns into full-blown house-hate violence. –Marcus gave her a puzzled look. –I’m saying they might go after you next. They’ll go after the Slytherin Quidditch team.

**…**

Andy rushed to the tent that had been set up for the Slytherin team. It had started to rain right when the players got down of their brooms. She jumped and splashed on growing puddles, dodging the crowd that quickly began to scatter and make their way towards the castle.

The match had been amazing. Or maybe not the match itself (since the majority of what she knew about Quidditch she had forgotten after quitting the team) but her friends. Marcus had had a triumphant return to the field and had scored multiple goals; and Dahlia had been as fine and swift as ever and had caught the golden Snitch minutes before the first few drops began to fall and got them plenty of well-deserved house points.

Andy’s heart beat happier and a little faster. Her friends could use a good victory and so could her whole House.

She was proud of them all. Their cheers, happy whistles and even songs had been constant throughout the entire match and had only fallen just a bit short to cover up the booing and jeering of the other Houses. It made no matter though, today was day of celebration.

Her green and silver scarf was pulled from behind her by the fleeing crowd and she got tangled under a few kids carrying umbrellas. When she finally rid herself of them she found some students cramming together at the flaps of the tent. A closer look revealed these were no fans but resented teenagers calling the snake’s victory a product of cheating. Some Hufflepuffs still clad in their Quidditch uniforms were there as well.

 _Just another day in the life of a Slytherin._ She shouldered past them and Professor Slughorn that unsuccessfully tried to calm them down; lifted one of the flaps with an arm and entered. Inside, she found the players in quiet celebration, talking in hushed voices, drinking water and nibbling at some candies someone had smuggled in. There were close to no other students beside them, just a few friends or siblings from the team.

 _The people outside must have scared them off._ In the past the tent had been brimming with other Slytherins eager to congratulate their housemates on winning days and comfort them on the loosing ones.

-Andy! –she heard and spotted Marcus waving at her from one of the corners of the tent.

She ran up to him and hugged him tightly. –Congratulations! You were amazing today!

-He was, wasn’t he? -a young excited voice said behind him. Felix moved his stool a bit to sit beside them. - Did you see how he scored the last goal? He went all woosh and past that Hufflepuff with the orange hair and threw the Quaffle right over his head! Did you see it, Andy?

She couldn’t help but laugh. –I did. Your parents will be very proud of their son the sportsman. -she teased as she pinched his cheek gently.

-You see right there? –Marcus laughed. - She even pinches my cheek like _Abu_ does!

Andy slapped his arm playfully as Felix bursted into laughter. –Where’s the big star of the day? 

-She’s right here! Andromeda whipped round to see Dahlia and her boyfriend, both still wearing their uniforms, green and silver and yellow and black respectively.

She threw herself into her friend’s arms. –Congratulations gorgeous! You did it! You got the Snitch!

-Thank you, Andy. I’m really glad you came.

-Of course I did! I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. -she said with a gentle smile.

-How did they let you in here?

-Felix! –Marcus cried out appalled. –That was very rude, apologize! I’m so sorry Hugh; –he turned to the Hufflepuff boy. –we really like it that you’re here; really. I…

Hugh smiled softly. –It’s alright Marcus, don’t worry. I sneaked around through the back. -he added looking at Felix with a playful grin. –Dahlia helped me out.

-Oh! So that’s why you’re all dirty with mud!

-Felix!

-Sorry Hugh. –the little boy said with a sigh.

The chaser just snorted. –It’s alright, Felix. Yeah, I slipped on the mud. I fly pretty well but get me off the broom and that’s another story!

-You fly better than you play, though. –Marcus teased as he sent his brother off to the castle.

-You guys were great today, but next time we’ll beat you, don’t doubt it! –he grinned as he pulled forward some stools for Dahlia, Andy and himself.

-How come your teammates let you come over here? –she asked as she helped herself from the candy bowl Marcus passed her.

-They probably haven’t noticed I’m gone. Some of them are complaining outside and most of the others are complaining too but inside our tent. –he pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. The rain had darkened it and stapled it to his forehead and down to his nose. –I really preferred to come see you guys and celebrate my talented girlfriend. –he added as he leaned to the side and kissed her cheek.

Marcus looked like he was about to make a joke but then changed his mind said something completely different. –Look who’s here.

The three of them turned their heads around with the subtleness of a muggle clown walking around on huge rubber shoes.

It was rare that the kids redoing their seventh year from home came to Hogwarts on days they did not have to sit for exams. It was even rarer when it was one of the famous ones like Potter or Granger or Weasley. It was even more unusual when it was a Death Eater turned good, rumoured to have attempted to kill Professor Dumbledore.

Draco Malfoy stood at the opposite end of the tent talking quietly to some of the other members of the team, his hair combed neatly and untouched by the rain thanks to the umbrella he carried; his pointy face pale as always. He looked healthier than he had had the past two years though; less starved, and the half moons under his eyes less dark, which made Andy smile. She noticed the sleeves of his cloak came down to half of his hand.

_He’s covering it. The Mark._

She had, of course, never seen it. To be honest, she didn’t know if it was really there, but Slytherins talked, same as the others.

-Don’t stare, -Dahlia scolded them turning around. -it’s rude.

-Sure, mum. –Marcus rolled his eyes.

-What do you think he’s doing here? Do you think he saw the game? –Andy asked. She hadn’t seen him but so many people had come she could have easily missed him.

-You can ask him yourself, he’s coming this way.

Again they turned around which Andy instantly regretted upon seeing Malfoy’s expression when he became extremely aware that it was him they were looking at. He walked the last steps towards them briskly and uncomfortable under their stare.

He stood in front of them, in the semicircle they had formed, and looked at Dahlia. –I am told you caught the Snitch.

-I did. –she replied straightening a bit on her seat.

-Congratulations, Dahlia. I regret not arriving on time to see but I’m sure it must have been quite the show. You were always a great flyer. –he allowed himself a small smile.

\- I, um, thank you, Draco. You can come for our next match. We’re playing against Gryffindor.

-I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it, but I’ll do my best. –He turned to Marcus then. -And you’re Flores, right? Marcus Flores? –her friend nodded – Congratulations to you as well; the others told me you scored three goals. –Marcus gaped at him –If you would excuse me, I, um, I have somewhere else to be. –he inclined his head slightly and headed to the back of the tent, opened his dark umbrella and disappeared behind the flaps.

Marcus found his tongue quickly enough and turned to Dahlia. –How does he know your name? Are you friends or something?

-No. –she said rolling her eyes –I already told you our mothers were and we sometimes played together when we were little. They drifted apart over the last couple of years but she always liked Narcissa. She often talks about getting in touch again. It’s weird seeing him here, though. –Dahlia admitted.

-He seems to be doing better than the last two years. At least he doesn’t look sick all the time. –Hugh pointed out.

-He looks awkward. –Marcus commented –But I guess it must be hard being back here after everything.

All the home-schooled seventh years looked out of place when they came to visit, Marcus was right on that. But Andy figured it must be especially hard for him and all the other Slytherins his age who had chosen to come back. His father had been a Death Eater and if the rumors were to be believed, he had been forced to become one too. Voldemort had stayed at his own house and hosted meetings with his followers there. Not to mention that he had picked him from the crowd and called him to his side in front of the whole school. Some of his friends had died at the Death Eaters hands or his classmates’. His parents had fled at the last minute and had been pardoned after the Battle; yet all of that plus all she did not know must have taken a huge tall on him. And of course when he came to Hogwarts he was not met with the same warmth the _big three_ were…

-He looks lonely.

**…**

It was raining. Because _of course_ it would start raining again even after the clouds had cleared a little on the one night of the week she got to host her Astronomy Club. For which they needed to be outside. Which they _couldn’t_ because of the bloody _pouring_ _rain_ of all things.

Andromeda cursed as her wet shoes slipped and she fell flat on her butt on the stony floor. She set her strands of soak hair away from her eyes.

 _Brilliant._ Just exactly what she needed. First, it had been her turn to present the topic of the meeting, something she loaded doing with every fiber of her being; she had many strengths, but public speaking had never been counted amongst them. Second, only the half of students that didn’t have to turn in the Transfiguration assignment or didn’t care enough to do so ad shown up, which strangely set her more on edge; which led to her talk being a fiasco. The cherry on top being, of course, getting caught mid-meeting in the poring rain; which might actually have been a good thing since it saved her from having to continue that torturing sleep-inducing half-stuttered-half-whispered excuse of a presentation.

And now she slipped on the floor.

_Brilliant. Just…brilliant._

She caught her hair turning slightly reddish at her rising frustration and took a few deep breaths before rising to her feet and stomping loudly down the stairs, leaving a wet trail behind her. She needed some alone time, that was all. Dry her hair and the rest of her; change her clothes; bury herself under quilts and blankets, her current read on one hand and a bar of chocolate on the other; and maybe cry a little. Juts a little, though.

And definitely not think for a second about how she was not a step closer to regaining control of her metamorphmagi; how every sort of memorial her house tried to set up ended up being vandalised; how being on her own outside the common room had become an even bigger risk; how she had a paper due tomorrow she ought to finish; how she felt so distanced and disconnected from everything she might as well have been looking at her life from a thousand miles away through a telescope and that would still be too close; or about how basically _nothin_ g seemed to be working out for her lately.

_Yeah…definitely not going to think about that._

Water began to pool on the sunken stones underneath her as she stopped at the entrance struggling to remember the password. The door finally opened and she found herself in the utter chaos the common room had become.

Students clad in pijamas, uniforms and a weird mixture of both crowded the place, sitting at tables, spreading on the floor and sinking on the sofas. Quills passed from hand to hand as well as coffee mugs and even energy drinks, no doubt smuggled in by the muggle-born kids. The extensive homework had them all evidently very stressed out.

They were too busy alternatively threatening and begging each other for their answers to notice Andromeda jumping over spilled ink and torn parchments and heading for the dorm rooms.

She exchanged a friendly nod with some younger Slytherins who apparently weren’t burdened with the weight of an assignment or exam the next day and read quietly in a corner. She didn’t really know those kids, but there was life before the Battle of Hogwarts and then there was life _after_ the Battle of Hogwarts. And in this life more than in any other, Slytherins had to watch each other’s backs.

She shut the bedroom door behind her, the calm that reigned there such a contrast against the chaotic common room she had to breathe it in, let it soak through her skin and settle in her bones.

She put on her pyjamas, wrapped her hair in a towel and barely made it to her bed before she collapsed.

**…**

-Andy. Andy.

She heard her name spoken in _that_ voice. That voice she had so dearly missed.

-Where are you? Andromeda, where are you!?

 _I’m here,_ she mouthed, but the words would not come out, lost as they were somewhere in between her throat and the tip of her tongue.

She raised her hands to her neck. She could feel something sharp digging painfully inside of it, but her trembling fingers were only met by soft unbroken skin.

_I’m here. I’m here!_

She tried to scream, hoping maybe that the problem was in her ability to pronounce and not in her vocal cords. The silence that followed her opened mouth was suffocating.

-Ah, there you are!

Finally she found her. And she looked just like Andromeda remembered. One sock clawing at her knee and the other rolled down to her shoe; the shirt untuck; her tie loose enough to pull it over her head without untying it and her hair a tangled orange halo. It was definitely her, with those eyes that bared her heart out in the open and that full-teeth-slightly-crooked smile she wore when she was the happiest. It was her; there was not a single doubt in Andromeda’s mind. She forgot about everything and for a moment allowed herself to enjoy her friend’s presence, to bask in the light she always seemed to emit wherever she went.

But suddenly the moment was over and something she could not quite point out yet was definitely wrong.

-I missed you. -her accent made the words dance a little, and the upsetting feeling vanished just as swiftly as it had come.

_I missed you too._

-Where did you go?

And Andy frowned because _no, she hadn’t gone anywhere. What was she talking about?_

And just like that, the feeling returned, painful and undeniable.

_No, I didn’t go anywhere. **You** did._

The more she tried to speak the deeper those invisible needles seemed to dig into her flesh; the more blood she felt pouring down her neck and chest; the scarcer the air became; the more her lungs felt like they were running on scraps.

_Help me. Help me, please!_

Poppy spoke, at least Andromeda was sure she did, but she could not hear a word. Her lips kept moving in front of her but not a sound came out. Or maybe it did but she could not catch it. She only heard the stillness and a soft and steady beep.

_I can’t…I can’t understand. Help me! Please! Poppy, I’m dying!_

She fell to her knees in the dark, suddenly aware of how somber the place was, how it seemed to drink and swallow any light, how alone they were and how bloody cold it was. She usually liked cold, preferred it even to warm weather, but here it was unsettling. Here, she somehow knew, it meant death.

Poppy appeared to notice something was wrong too; her eyebrows became wavy lines over her eyes and she bit her lower lip, her teeth pulling out the remnants of dead skin.

Andy couldn’t bear to see the despair on her face, heartbreak twisting up her factions; and she hated herself for not being able to soothe her worries, to assure her everything would be okay. She didn’t know. Her ears were ringing, her hands were bathed in blood she didn’t know where it had come from, she was choking.

And she was afraid. Because Poppy was like a ray of sunshine in all that gloomy darkness and it terrified her that the shadows would devour her too, like they had with the rest of the light. And she couldn’t, really _couldn_ ’t loose her again.

Her friend started walking towards her but the distance between them had somehow widened and she was looking at her from miles away. She was either terribly slow or Andromeda’s body was failing too fast.

Tears rolled down freckled cheeks and Andy wanted nothing more than to hold her in her arms once more, like she had done countless of times before (because Poppy’s tough armour could only last so long and she had a soft interior and got hurt easily) and comfort her.

Finally she arrived. She was at her side and Andy stared up at her, feeling like the ground was swallowing her too. She knelt and placed a hand softly on her shoulder.

Andy held tight to her arm, for she feared that if she didn’t she would disappear into oblivion. She realised she was crying as well.

_Don’t leave, please. I’m scared. Or take me with you._

Her neck throbbed, and as Poppy leaned in closer to her she swore she could hear her whisper.

-Stay.

**…**

She awoke in a rush, throwing the sheets aside and gasping for air, her lungs urging her to take in more and more and more.

It didn’t seem to be enough, but she _had_ to make it be, otherwise she might pass out and go back there. Go back to a mute soundless death. Go back…with Poppy.

She swallowed hard, the kind green eyes swimming in her mind.

 _No, it wasn’t her._ No matter how much she missed her, how much she wanted it to be, it just wasn’t her.

And yet for the briefest of seconds she had thought…she had _believed_ …

_No._

_It’s not her. It never was._

A faint ray of hope she hadn’t realised she had been holding on to shattered as she broke free from the powerful spell that was sleep. Dreaming was indeed a very tricky and dangerous type of magic; it could create the saddest and most beautiful of illusions; bring back the happiest and worst of memories; play with one’s deepest desires and biggest fears.

She had no time, however, to reflect on this. A pair of heads had jerked up and turned to her as soon as she had awoken.

At first she didn’t recognise the visitors. But slowly, under the patches of dry and still fresh blood, the cuts, the red skin and the dripping messy hair, Dahlia’s and Hugh’s face became clearer. She had to blink twice to allow her eyes to focus and make sure she wasn’t jumping from one nightmare to another.

-I’m…I’m sorry we woke you up. Are you…are you alright?- Dahlia said, her words barely louder than a whisper. She was paler than usual, trembling all over and gripping Hugh’s hand tightly as though a gush of wind would be enough to blow him away.

He didn’t appear to be too shaken up, though; his perpetual calmed expression only barely disturbed, maybe eyes a little too wide and mouth a little too tight. His hand, hanging loosely beside him, kept twitching slightly, but otherwise he seemed to be keeping his mind cool. They both did. But Andy knew her friend. And she knew that it was when Dahlia seemed the most put together that she needed the most care.

She quickly slid off the bed, ignoring the sore spot the dreamed had left inside her and padded towards them. - Me? Are you guys alright? What happened?

Dahlia moved out of her way and began to rummage in her trunk.- We’re _fine_ , Andy. You seemed…distressed, though.

-Distressed, I…well, yeah…you come in here in the middle of the night all bloody and soaked to the bone, I mean…Let me…-she knelt beside her and tried to take a look at her wounds but she pushed her hands away and turned her head to the right.- Dahlia.- she hadn’t stopped shaking.

-Dals, maybe we should…-Hugh came limping to her side and with no little difficulty, knelt as well.- we should tell her; Andy’s only trying to help, besides, it’s her room too.

She hadn’t realised until now, but he was right. This was the _Slytherin_ girls bedroom, and Hugh was as Hufflepuff as they made them. Granted, he had been to their common room a few times, but he should have attracted more than just a few weird looks this time.

-How did you get past the common room unnoticed?

-A cloaking spell. -Hugh replied, massaging Dahlia’s shoulders. He must have been good, part of the tension in her back visibly dissolved.

For a moment, Andy thought she was about to say something, but she straightened up suddenly, having found what she was looking for. A softly murmured word and she helped her boyfriend to his feet and sat him on her bed. She opened the first aid kit Poppy’s mum had given them and started cleaning and disinfecting Hugh’s cuts.

-We took a walk through the forest and fell and cut ourselves with some twigs.- her friend answered before she could ask again.

Andromeda’s eyebrows went high.- Seriously? You expect me to believe you of all people would be out in the bloody Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night!? Who do you take me for?

The only reply was the soft rattle of supplements in the first aid kit and the occasional winces slipping out of Hugh’s mouth when the alcohol stung. So Andy turned to him and decided to put his well-intentioned attitude to good use.

\- What happened, Hugh?

-We were taking a walk near the lake and some kids came out of nowhere and attacked us.

-What!?- _No, no, not this again._ \- How did it..? How did you…?

Dahlia shot him a look that could have been translated to “see, I told you how she would react”. - We weren’t _attacked._

-Damn right we were.- the boy insisted.- But Dahlia, it’s okay now,- he continued calmly, holding her long skinny fingers in his own baby-like hands, his thumb caressing them gently.-you are safe now. You don’t have to…you don’t have to put a strong front anymore.

-I’m not…-she trailed off, honey eyes gazing into pitch black galaxy ones before looking away; something inside her softer, tenderer, more like herself.

-Who did this to you? -Andy looked up at them from the floor.

-I’m not sure, I couldn’t see very well, -Hugh said honestly.- but bloody Gaven was there, along with some of his mates from the Quidditch team.

_No, no, it’s just like I thought. They targeted the Quidditch players after all._

-They caught us by surprise and took our wands away.- to Andy’s surprise it was Dahlia who spoke, her voice low and with an underlying scolding to no one in particular.- We found them after they left.

There was life before and after the Battle of Hogwarts, and in the latter, her friends had to fumble in a mixture of wet leaves and dirt for their wands after being beaten up by some students.

-Kai was there too…

Dahlia bristled. - Kai!? As in that boy from your house!? Why was he…? How…? Why didn’t you tell me? -she protested strangling a roll of gauze in her hand.

-There was nothing you could do about it. -he reassured her.- And I didn’t want you to waste your anger in him; I’m pretty sure he was coerced. He looked kind of scared.

-Yeah, while he beat us bloody.

Andromeda tried hard to remember Kai. A pair of bony knees and elbows came to mind, a mop of black hair and an affinity for hierology, just like Hugh, but nothing too threatening, let alone violent.

-He wasn’t the one who did the beating. He simply lifted me of the ground with a levitating spell and then dropped me back down.

-Over a rock.

-Well, yeah…-he admitted with a shrug. -But he did nothing else.

-I suppose we ought to thank him, then.

Hugh pretended not to hear that. -I don’t know why the rest did it, though. I mean, I don’t recall pissing off anyone lately.

Something Andy recognised as sudden realisation flashed across Dahlia’s eyes and faded just as quickly, a shooting star completing its arch.

-Hey, hey, let me help you. -the young wizard said upon seeing her attempt to clean her own cuts.

-It’s fine, Andy will do it. -she spared her a sided glance.- You should go, Hugh, I…I don’t want to get you in any more trouble.

The boy pouted playfully. - But babe, getting in trouble with you is so much fun!

Dahlia tried to suppress a smile. - You’re an idiot.

-I’m _your_ idiot.-he grinned foolishly and reached forward a bit.- Can I give you a kiss?- the witch nodded and he leant in the rest of the way, their lips pressed together before he pulled away.- I’m sorry this happened, Dals.- he murmured, eyes still closed.

Dahlia placed a stiff hand on his shoulder and tilted her head slightly to the left, searching for his eyes. She wasn’t one for showing affection physically, despite how much she enjoyed receiving it, but she had her own ways (the right words spoken in the exact way you needed to hear them, her eyes lingering into yours for just a moment longer) to make sure you felt seen, cared for.- It wasn’t your fault, Hugh. It was _theirs._

-No, I…I know. -he leaned against her touch.- I just wanted it to be a celebratory stroll, not a horror one.

-You can make it up to me when we go to Hoggsmade, then.

The Hufflepuff returned the grin.- Deal, but you’ve got to promise me you won’t go after them.

Andy tried to hide her smile. They had been dating for over three years now and Hugh already knew her too well.

-Deal. - she settled after a pause.- I’ll go with you to the infirmary tomorrow so Madame Pomfrey can take a look at your ankle. And please be careful with Kai in the common room.

-I will. Good night, then, love. -he whispered cheesily. He stood and said goodbye to Andy before muttering the cloaking spell.

The door clicked shut, closed under an invisible hand. As soon as he was gone, Andy rushed to fill the sunken and wrinkled spot he had left on the bed, and drowned a piece of cotton in alcohol.

-You don’t have to…you know…-Dahlia gestured with her hands.

-Dals it’s okay, I…I want to.- unlike her friend, Andromeda’s gift with words was close inexistent. What sounded good in her mind came out as awkward, too much or not enough; but this time, from the way she relaxed under her touch, it felt right.

Andy brushed the cotton ball softly under the seeker’s nose, clearing away all of the dry and some still fresh blood as well. - You should ask Madame Pomfrey to check it out too, just in case it’s broken.

-It’s not. -she replied absentmindedly. It most likely was, though; but she had flown away, miles keeping her and her broken nose apart.

She was spiralling, tracing the pattern of the tattoo on her wrist and chewing her thoughts until they no longer had any taste.

Giving her reputation of going around handing pieces of advice like a vending machine and paying an understanding ear whenever needed, people tended to Dahlia was a vocal person regarding her own issues. She was, in fact, quite the opposite; more keen on bottling things up until she cracked. Only then would she ask for help, shyly and reluctant. Luckily she was never short of friends willing to help her, and Andy and Poppy had learnt to interpret the signs that something was upsetting their friend.

-What’s on your mind? - Andy finally said. She knew Dahlia would draw back deeper into herself and brush it off if she asked about her feelings. But if she approached the situation with curiosity rather than concern, then she might get better results.

-I’ve been thinking, - Dahlia started just when Andy was about to give up hope on her lateral thinking approach.- he had to know, right? He knows, and he was pretending not to because that’s how he is, right?

Andromeda gave her a confused look, but the seeker’s eyes were now lost somewhere in the creases and patterns of her quilt.- What do you mean?

-I mean, -She winced slightly when the cotton brushed past the upper part of her cheek. She was going to have a nasty bruise the next morning.- that Hugh only pretended not to know why we were attacked tonight.

-Dahls, I don’t think he knew.-Andromeda said as she closed the first aid kit.- Why would he even do that?

-Not to worry me, I guess.

-You think he doesn’t want them to scare you and get you to quit the team?

-What?- Dahlia’s bewildered eyes met hers.

-Isn’t that why they targeted you?- Andy asked softly- Because you’re part of the Slytherin Quidditch team?

-No, no, no, that’s not it. -she dismissed, maybe a little annoyed.- Hugh plays for a different team and they kicked his ass too.

 _Why didn’t I think of that? It’s true; the Quidditch theory makes no sense_.

-I could have been, though.- Dahlia added, realising her friend had looked away embarrassed. She sighed.- But I figure…it’s because we’re purebloods…right?

There was a strange certainty woven into her words. And there was pleading as well, a silent _please tell me I’m wrong. Please tell me this is not it._

But Andromeda couldn’t. Now that she had said it out loud it was as if she had translated the last sentence of a manuscript in a lost language and she was able to understand the whole thing. Andy couldn’t tell her friend what she so desperately wanted to hear, and with the similarities with her nightmare it pained her even more.

-I mean, it makes sense, right?- Dahlia went on after an uncomfortable silence.- The other day when someone put something in Wesley’s potion and it blew up in his face I, I assumed it was because he was a Slytherin, but now… It all adds up. It’s because we’re purebloods.

And this time there was no hesitation of any kind. It was a statement; a hard cold fact.

Andy pulled her into a hug, knowing full well she would solve nothing by that, except, hopefully, give her a little comfort.- I’m sorry.

_I’m sorry people are shit. I’m sorry they’re attacking you for something you didn’t choose and you can’t change. I’m sorry the world has gone fucking insane. I’m sorry you have to deal with this._

A thousand things she could have said and yet all “I’m sorry” was all she could manage.

-Dahlia, I promise I’ll protect you.

-Tha-thank you.- she said, melting in Andy’s embrace.

And maybe, for the moment at least, that was enough.

**…**

Andromeda awoke with the faint sound of crying. It took her only a few seconds to determine it wasn’t her but Dahlia.

 _Shit._ Dahlia was crying. _Shit, shit, shit._

The rising and falling humps on every bed indicated her roommates had gone to sleep, so Andy quietly slipped of her own bed and padded to the one beside her. Dahlia was a trembling ball under the sheets, surprisingly small considering her tall frame.

-Dals…Dals it’s me. - Andy murmured unsure but crawling by her side nonetheless.

-I didn’t…I didn’t mean to wa-wake you. -she mumbled wearily, still not turning around.

-It’s alright, don’t worry about it. -she ran what attempted to be a soothing hand over her friend’s shoulders. As she traced shapeless patterns on her back she took a tentative guess. - Did you have a nightmare?

_You’re projecting, Yamazaki._

Andy discovered sobs mixed terribly bad with bitter laughter.- You need to sleep for that.

-What kept you up?

Dahlia hesitated.- I can’t stop thinking about Poppy.

Andy’s breath caught in her throat.

_So you too, huh?_

_You shouldn’t be surprised; you’re still hurting, why wouldn’t she?_

-I was thinking about her and how the…the Death Eaters…killed her and I can’t…I just can’t help…feeling so…so _disgusted_ by-by myself.

Andromeda’s eyes widened and she pulled at Dahlia’s arm to turn her over.- What do you…? Why?

-Because I’m like them!- she raised her voice and instantly covered her mouth with both hands but luckily their roommates only shifted slightly in their beds.

The tears in Dahlia’s eyes glistened under the dull light of the crystals embedded on the walls, bathing her cheeks and trailing down her cheeks. She wiped them off with her sleeve but they were replaced by new ones.- I…I know…I’m obviously not exactly like them. But when I think about how they were purebloods just…just like me…it’s disgusting…to…to think we have so much in common, I… the fact that I can say _we_ , like…like we _share_ something, it’s…-she broke off, crying louder now, the sounds coming from deeper down her throat tearing it raw. She tried to speak, finish her sentence, but her voice failed her, and every time it cracked Andromeda felt little pieces of her heart being chipped away, breaking tear by tear, shallow breath by shallow breath.

Andy was stunned. Only once had she seen her friend like that and it had been on a night during the previous summer, after Poppy’s death. And then it had been simple enough to comfort her, she had just joined her, and together in their grief they had cried themselves to sleep. But now it was different; something else had Dahlia so upset, something they didn’t share; something she didn’t dully understand and wasn’t sure how to handle.

Maybe she had lied to herself before; maybe she had approached the situation the _thinking_ way and not the _feeling_ one not because it was easier for Dahlia but for _herself_. Because _she_ understood curiosity and staring at a variable, analysing it and thinking hard about it until you figured it out more than she understood the complexity of her own or other people’s emotions. Because, sometimes, planets, stars and even galaxies hundreds of miles away were easier to comprehend than the loss of a loved one and the empty still-smelling-of-them space they left right beside you.

But no, this was _Dahlia_ , her life-long friend; she knew her; she knew what could help her.

Her arms were around her in an instant and the seeker held on to her as if she were the only thing keeping her from drowning. Andy held her even after her eyes went dry and her breathing steadied.

-I’m disgusting.- she heard her mumble and a sudden anger flared inside her.

Because how dared they? How dared they make Dahlia, _Dahlia of all people_ , say those things, feel those things? How dared they make her feel like she deserved what had happened to her, like she was a monster, like she was meant to be persecuted? How dared they make her feel so small, so unlike herself, so hated?

-Listen to me, Dahlia Flynn,- she started, pulling apart so she could face her. The usual spark on her eyes had faded, dulled by the tears and the dark thoughts whispering in her ear. - you did _not_ kill Poppy. And you are _not_ like the Death Eaters either, alright? They were murderers and bigots who believed in blood purity, and you are neither of those things, understand?

_Please, Dals, please believe me._

-But I…

-Your parents,- Andy went on unbothered- they cut off your bigoted relatives, and drilled into you and your siblings that you weren’t better for being purebloods, didn’t they?

Dahlia nodded in silent and sniffed.

-You see?- she said, pulling up the corners of her mouth in a small smile, hoping it was true what muggles said about them being contagious.- What they should have added was that it doesn’t make you less either. Blood purity means nothing; it matters no more now than it did back before the Battle. And you loved Poppy and me then, when it was us who were being targeted…

-Of course. -she interrupted, the tiniest of smiles gracing her face, and Merlin’s beard it was good to see her getting better.

-So I’ll love you now. -and she couldn’t stop the painful needle that pierced her heart because now it was just the two of them against a world that masked in sanity was still ruled by the same madness.

_No. not madness; hate. That’s the only word for it._

Dahlia squeezed her hands. - Thank you, Andy, thank you, I…this means…thank you…-for once, she was at a loss of words.

Tears swam unshed in honey eyes, a little sad, a little hopeful; and Andromeda couldn’t help but wish they could trade places; wish she could save her from the hateful people the way she had wanted to be saved from the sneers, the contemptuous voices that cried “half-blood”, “half-breed”; wished she could spare her the time that had taken her to learn to ignore the insults, to deprive them of meaning and to love herself in spite of them.

And giving most Death Eaters had been purebloods, this new wave of hate would be different, more personal, and could take shapes she did not expect; would have so many consequences she would not be able to plan for.

She had told Dahlia she would protect her, but how could she keep that promise? She barely knew the names of some of her attackers and couldn’t exactly storm into the Dinning Hall and duel them. The only thing magic-related she was good at (beside potions, which in this case wouldn’t be of much use to her) was her metamorphagui, and lately not even that.

_Breathe Andy, just breathe. We’ll find a way._

_But…_

_Breathe._

Finally, Dahlia broke the asphyxiating silence.- Before, you were tracing constellations on my back, right?

Andromeda snorted. - I’m surprised you noticed. I barely realised I was doing it.

-We’ve been best friends for years, haven’t we? I’ve picked up some stuff.- she smiled visibly pleased with herself, the crystals giving her teeth a neon green undertone.- How did your club meeting go?

A chill ran down her spine as she pulled the quilt up to her neck.- Not great.- she grimaced.- We got caught in the rain.

-I’m sorry to hear that. Can you reschedule?

-No; my brilliant talk will just have to wait until next week.

-I’m so sorry Andy, I know how much you look forward to it. - the seeker said, her voice dropping to a more serious tone.- If you want to, you can practice your presentation with me.-she offered gently- I don’t always understand everything but I loved hearing them when you and Poppy tell me about your muggle science club; you always get so excited when you talk about it and you have this goofy passionate smile…

-Do I, now? - she asked with a playful grin.

-Yeah, you do. - Dahlia stiffened a laugh against her palm and Andy imitated her.

After a long pause in which Andromeda thought her friend had fallen asleep, she started slide off the bed.

-Stay. - Dahlia murmured.

And with a shudder and a big sense of déjà vu, Andy did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I saw a headcannon in a tumblr post I think that said that after the Battle, the kids from Harry's age went back to Hogwarts and I liked the idea of them continuing their studies but remotely so as not to become overwhelmed.  
> When I picture the Slytherin common room they're like a cave underground with greenish glowing crystal embedded on the walls; I think that was inspired by a tumblr post too, and same goes for the thing about Slytherins fighting in the Battle against Death Eaters, I saw that headcannon and I totally applied it here!  
> I liked the idea that Dahlia's parents were friends with Draco's, both their families being pureblood and all (even if Dahlia's was the "good kind of pureblood")  
> Also, Marcus and Felix are latino, that's why their last name (Flores) is in Spanish and why they call their grandma Abu


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I'm a little impatient and couldn't wait and since I already had it written down here is chapter two! A little warning for depression related thoughts and grief (I don't know how to properly call it but I though you should know, just in case?) and for hate mail and minor swearing as well.

The next morning, Andromeda waited until the bedroom had been cleared of her roommates. Then, careful not to wake her, she rummaged through Dahlia’s trunk looking for her uniform. She quickly got dressed, pulling her socks up to her knees and neatly tucking her shirt inside the skirt, just like Dahlia liked it. She was working out the knot of her tie in front of the mirror when she heard the scrap of cloth behind her.

-Are those my clothes? - a voice coloured by sleep asked.

-Yup. - she answered cheerfully as she turned.

Dahlia winced as she rubbed her eyes. Andy had been right; a yellow bruise had formed under her left eye, spreading down to her cheek. It looked quite painful, although no more than the swollen mess her nose had become; a bruise of its own rushing to meet the other. -And what are you doing?

The witch simply smoothed the skirt over her hips, letting her heart flutter and her skin tickle as if a line of ants crawled down her spine and every limb and finger. She didn’t think much about it, didn’t even need a mirror to do it; putting on Dahlia’s skin was easier than slipping into a glove. And just like in the old days, it only took her a few seconds to fit perfectly inside the slightly bigger uniform.

-I’m getting ready for class.

Dahlia’s eyebrows went ever so slightly upwards when she found her reflection staring at her. - Why?

Andy was a bit taken aback by the dryness in her friend’s tone.- I, um, I assumed you wouldn’t want to go out…-she raised her hand to gesture at her face but then thought better and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.- I assumed you wouldn’t feel like going to class, so I…

-I’m fine; have been feeling much better actually.- she jumped out of bed, grabbed another shirt and skirt from trunk and hurried to shut it.- I only have one tie, though.- she said holding out her hand.

Andy hesitated. - Come on, Dahlia; let me do this for you. You don’t need to go if you don’t want to. What you _do_ need is to go and see Madame Pomfrey.

-Which I will, - she conceded- at lunch time. Besides, I thought you didn’t change anymore. -she added, raising an eyebrow.

-That’s…it has…This has nothing to do with that, Dals.- Andy fumbled for a string of hair to fidget with and remembered Dahlia’s ends floated at her jaw and not past her shoulders like hers.- I want to help you.

-Then give me back my tie.

And there was a sharpness in her voice that made Andy give in.- Fine. But I’ll go with you to see Madame Pomfrey.

The only response was the bathroom’s door closing.

Andromeda changed back into her own clothes and folded Dahlia’s as best she could.

_Why is she being like this? It’s not like I haven’t done it a thousand times before; I can pass as her just fine._

_That if I don’t turn into Poppy in the middle of Potions._

Once again, she opened the trunk and instantly rolled her eyes at the mess inside.

_For Merlin’s sake, putting this back in will be a nightmare._

Dahlia had mastered the art of scolding everyone for not keeping their sections of the room or chests in order while simultaneously hiding the complete chaos hers was. Strangely enough, she claimed there was a certain pattern or logic to the disarray in which she kept her things, thus she never lost anything. Whether that was true or not, Andy couldn’t say. The only clear thing was that _she_ couldn’t understand Dahlia’s system. Therefore, she resorted to take out wat she needed for the bundle of clothes to fit in.

In her haste to put everything inside before her friend came out and found her rummaging through her stuff, she knocked over the pile of books she had stacked beside the trunk.

Pages went flying; probably form the most ancient ones. _My end has come earlier than I thought_. If Dahlia was in a bad mood already, this would not help at all.

-Accio sheets of paper.-The little pile landed on her lap and just when she was beginning to be overwhelmed by the amount of pages and the little time she had to put them into place she realised they were handwritten. 

_Thank God, these are class notes then._

She sorted them properly, according to their size and absentmindedly read the first line of one of them.

“Dear dirty little snake.”

_What!?_

She moved to the next one.

“Dear Dahlia the Death Eater”

“To Dahlia, the bastard born”, read the following one.

The rest started more or less the same way, one more insulting and demeaning than the other.

_This is…why does she have this? Why is she receiving them?_

_Don’t fool yourself. You know why._

She kept turning the pages, hoping against all hope that not all of them were hateful letters. At this point, she was getting rather tired of being wrong.

The pages went on and on. They weren’t long but there were plenty; the ink red as blood mocking her, insulting her, calling her a cheat and a thousand other names.

_God, Dahlia. Why didn’t you tell me?_

_And what would you have done anyway?_

These letters screamed spiteful Quidditch player. _Is that all they are? Letters from an angry rival with the common prejudice against Slyterins?_

Andy mentally scolded herself. Quidditch had always meant little to nothing to her; she had joined her House team just to get a broom and then had quitted as soon as she was able to. The only moments in which it gained value in her eyes was when she went to see Dahlia’s and Marcus' matches. Because to them, Quidditch was important, and _they_ were important to Andy.

A letter with a big drawing caught her eye. It was a hand, its middle finger raised. _This is such teenage shit._

“Snake slut.”

_What a great start._

“Leave the little snake charmer alone. We understand snakes enjoy playing with their food, but he’s just a simple lad who thought fucking a snake would somehow make him a better chaser and didn’t realise he would actually get hurt.”

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Andy jerked her head up, frozen and completely aware that she had been caught red-handed.

Dahlia’s face was contorted and distorted in an anger she had seen enough times to count them with both hands and still have fingers left, but never directed at her. Flames licked at her eyes, her pale face a great contrast with the rainbow of bruises she wore. In a flash she was on her knees, picking up the letters of the floor but when she tried to snatch the one on Andy’s hand she pulled away instinctively.

-Give me that.

-Why didn’t you tell me? -she said strangely calm and ignoring the way her friend’s Irish accent had never sounded colder.

Caught off guard by the question, Dahlia answered, looking down. - I-I didn’t think it was important for you to know.

-What!? You know what this is? This…this is…

-I know what it is!

-My best friend was receiving bloody hate-mail and you didn’t think it was important I knew!?-the anger washed over her all of a sudden, a wave that found her unprepared and threatened to drown her.- Why did you think it wouldn’t matter to me?- the letter rattled in the air as she shook it- Dahlia have you _seen_ this?

-Of course I have! -she snapped regaining control of herself. Andy hadn’t thought it possible, but Dahlia’s glare darkened and her hand crunched the papers she held.- You read them!?- and at Andromeda's guilty silence she added.- You had no right.

She snatched the last letter away from Andy’s fingers.- Why? Why!? You had no right! These letters weren’t _yours_!- she stashed them all back in her chest and slammed it shut.

The sea seemed to pull back and left her sputtering apologies instead of salt water.- I’m sorry…Dals, I am so sorry, I…I’m sorry I invaded your privacy I…I only…only read one and stray sentences, but I’m so sorry…

-Get out.

-No, Dahia, please, I…I’m sorry. Please, let’s talk about it…

-Get out!! -she was on her feet now, looking down at her, the muscles in her neck and shoulders tensed up.

-Fine. -rage took hold of her once more and Andy let her pilot.

_Fuck you, Dahlia Flynn. Fuck you whole heartedly, fuck you._

This was her room too; she couldn’t force her to leave. And yet she didn’t care to wait until she did.

She fetched her bag, brusquely, roughly, making every movement the noisiest possible and slammed the door behind her, heart burning just as much as the tears in her eyes.

**…**

Since the very dawn, Andy’s day had been nothing but terrible and as the hours unfolded and passed, it offered no opportunities to improve it; except, perhaps, the bath after dinner.

As most Slytherins these days, Andy hardly ever took a shower without first making sure any of her sister in green were doing the same in different stalls. It was an unspoken rule, a silent code; the Slytherins waited until the last of their own had finished getting dressed and left together as a group. There was life before the Battle of Hogwarts and then there was life after the Battle. In the latter, snakes travelled in packs to the common bathrooms or else risked getting harassed by other Houses.

Andy knew, however, that it would be empty. It was, after all, a Friday night, so most students were most likely having fun outside or enjoying a cozy night in their common rooms.

_Most students have a life. And more than two friends to turn to when they are mad at one of them and the other is nowhere to be found._

Except now Dahlia was the one still mad at her. The anger had passed for Andy, it rarely stuck for long; and had emptied her of everything but her sadness. Nothing had managed to take that away from her since Poppy’s death. Not completely at least.

She scrubbed her arms clean and realised bleakly that tonight, as many nights before, she did not look forward to anything when she came out of the stall. Taking her smuggled-in telescope all the way up the Astronomy Tower and loosing herself in the night sky; sneaking out to fly; reading one of her dad’s muggle books or watching one of his movies in the secret VHS player and Tv at the Slytherin common room. It made no matter; it was as though everything had been painted with the same gray brush and what once were some of her favourite activities, now thrilled her as much as tying her shoelaces.

Andy let the water slide down her hair and back and drip from her eyes like unshed tears, the steam clouding the stall. Behind that cloak nothing could touch her, no one could hurt her. Time didn’t exist there either, only the sound of water beating the ceramic floor as it fell.

What was it that her mother liked saying? _A warm bath cures all sorts of ailments_.

Granted she would always light scented candles when taking a bath. She had grown quite fond of those muggle treats her dad had introduced her to. When Andy was feeling down her mum would make sure she was well supplied with magnolia-scented candles, her favourite kind.

She couldn’t help but look down at the tattoo on her wrist.

_Only the magnolia and the dahlia remain now._

The poppy seemed faded to her, half gone, as if to match with its namesake.

_It doesn’t. Poppy is fully gone; one hundred percent._

The comforting shielding steam suddenly became suffocating and she closed the tap. The thing about shields was they could easily become prisons; no one could reach you but _you_ couldn’t reach anyone either.

_It was about time I finished, anyway. I’ve been here long enough._

Hadn’t her father told her that studies had shown lonely people took longer showers to make up for the lack of human touch or comfort? Not that wizards believed in muggle science anyway. But Andy was half a wizard and half a muggle and she very much believed in science. She wouldn’t have started a secret astronomy club with one of her best friends if she didn’t.

_Dad._

She missed him sorely, and her mum as well. She wrote to them pretty often, even more so this first year after the Battle, but she could write thousands of letters and it would still not be enough. Besides, owls didn’t go as fast as she needed them to. She could really use her dad’s advice right now.

He would probably tell her how it had been wrong to read Dahlia’s letter, which she knew and regretted; how she had disrespected her privacy and that it made sense she had snapped at her. But he would also tell her how to _fix_ it, how to make things right. He might even tell her why nothing she tried seemed to work, why everything she built went down in flames, why her world crumbled around her; a sand castle being swept away by an angry ocean.

She stepped out of the shower after throwing her pyjamas over her head, and carried her things to the wheel of sinks close to the door.

Andromeda brushed her hair in slow and calm movements, from the roots all the way down to the ends resting at the middle of her torso.

Poppy; Dahlia; Marcus; her whole house; all of them had or were suffering and where was she? On the sidelines, removed from that.

She felt distanced from everything, of late, as if someone had cut the cord and she had been left orbiting around the Earth, a second moon. Her grades were dropping and she just watched them plunge further down; her metamorphmagi was out of control so she didn’t transform and kept it a secret; even her beloved astronomy club was falling apart. She hadn’t told her friends or family so as not to upset them but some students had dropped out because of the vast majority of Slytherins. She didn’t go after them or searched for new members either.

Everyone and everything was so loud and bright and happy, even the ones around her who were struggling, and she failed to understand _how_ when she was neither of those things. How did they manage to be so happy, so colourful and excited when most of the time all she felt was lonely and sad and _grey_.

_Teach me._

She put the brush down and heaved a long sigh.

_Poppy knew how._ Life had been very unkind at times to Poppy Keir but she had always been the loudest, the brightest, the most cheerful; always looking at the bright side, and when not possible, open about her feelings.

_Why am I like this? Why can’t I be more like her? Or at least like the rest? Just as careless…_

Andy sighed again and stared up at her reflection on the mirror above the sink. Her heart was pounding. The almond-shaped eyes she loved suddenly rounded; her puffy monoliths that were just like her father’s, faded; her mother’s square jaw softened; her thick hair began to curl and appeared to be ablaze; her heart picked up more speed and seconds later Poppy was staring back at her.

She cursed, failed to change back and cursed again. Cursed at her body for not responding; at her mind for playing cruel tricks on her and at the sight in the mirror. A sight she had missed so much and yet seemed so mocking now.

_We look so alike._

She knew Poppy’s face as well as Dahlia’s. It had just been so long since she had last seen it; nothing close to a substitute, only the most accurate of portraits, she knew; yet now…Now it was _everywhere;_ bouncing from every glistening and barely reflecting surface it came across; the mirror in front of her; the one on her right and the one on her left; upside down in the water tap; in the little looking glass in the back of her brush; in the water-sprayed sink; in the mirror again. Everywhere. Everywhere. _Everywhere_.

And Andy fell to her knees, her sobs carrying guttural sounds, almost painful, as though shards of broken glass were scraping the inside of her throat. She started shaking violently and hugged herself as she sank deeper on the tiled floor, the autumn chill making an appearance.

Images began to bombard her and even when she closed her eyes shut they wouldn’t stop coming.

Poppy, Dahlia and her, Quidditch robes flying behind them in one of the few matches they played together; the three of them again, camping behind Poppy’s house one summer, jars glowing with fireflies; Poppy standing up against bullies that insulted hers and Andy’s muggle heritage, then crying on Dahlia’s shoulder afterwards because, sometimes, their words hurt her too; Poppy dying in her arms as Dahlia arrived only a few seconds too late.

And just like then, she heard her name somewhere far behind her.

-Andy. -it sounded as though she were underwater.

This time she didn’t turn. She hadn’t realised there was someone else in the stalls and now the shame had started to creep in. Andromeda didn’t want anyone to see her like this, not even Dahlia. She tried to curl into an even smaller shivering ball, as if by that she would become unnoticeable.

Her friend had no trouble reading the situation and was beside her in a heartbeat, her delicate silk nightgown brushing lightly against the white tiles. She hesitated, but only for a second, before wrapping her arms around her. And if Dahlia’s hug was a bit awkward and stiff with lack of habit; if Dahlia’s hug was all elbows and bony arms; if her hand was clumsy as it caressed her head, Andy didn’t mind at all.

**…**

Eventually, Andy’s sobs died out; the freckles in her arms and cheeks receded; the orange hair gave way to jet black one and her face was hers once more. Dahlia held her through the entire time, both of them shivering against the cold, and for that she was deeply grateful.

They sat side by side under the marble sinks and for a while they kept quiet. Andy didn’t know where to start, what to articulate first, an apology, a thank you or an explanation.

Dahlia saved her from her indecision.-I’m sorry I blew up on you earlier.

-It’s okay, Dals.

-It’s not. -she spoke quietly but not without determination. - I-I treated you horribly and I’m very sorry for that.

-I’m sorry I read the letter.-Andy reached out and squeezed her hand. -I shouldn’t have; I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy.

-All’s forgiven.-she said smiling faintly and returning the squeeze. - I was afraid you would find them, that's why I was all jumpy when you dressed up like me.- Dahlia snorted.- I can’t believe I didn’t tell you.

-Why didn’t you?-Andromeda found herself asking.

-I…I guess I was ashamed. Not of what you would think but about…just receiving them, I… Some of them weren’t that bad; mostly about Quidditch; I knew some of the others were getting a few as well, but they still hurt. And then they…they became more personal, like the one you found about Hugh and…-she paused for a moment and cleared her throat.- They sent me one about my family.

-What did it say? -and she rushed to add- You don’t have to answer if you-

-It said that as my family was pureblood then they must have wanted to keep the bloodline intact so they married between cousins. It said “they put the sin in cou _sins_.” They…they told me I was born of incest, Andy.-she shuddered; it probably was the first time she said those words out loud.- And I’m _not_ , okay? I- you know my parents, they are from different families I…they are both pureblood it’s true, but they-they are not related, and they are not…they are not the _bad_ kind of purebloods, they just happened to be born in one but they are not like that, you know? I…

-Dahlia-Dahlia it’s alright, I know,-Andy reassured her, holding both her hands and looking her straight in the eye.-I believe you.

-And then they said that…that it was their fault Liam can’t do magic.

Andy winced. Dahlia’s younger brother was twelve now but he had been a squib since birth and she knew how disdainful her grandparents had been about it; how much it had hurt young Liam to see all of his older siblings go to Hogwarts knowing he would never join them; and, consequently, how protective Dahlia and her family were of him. It was a really low blow.

-I’m so sorry, Dals. -she ran her hand up and down her friend’s arm, from shoulder to elbow.- Remember I’m here for you; always, okay?

The seeker nodded. – Thank you. You remember that too.

-Do you know who send you those letters?

Dahlia shook her head. - I don't even know if it was one or more people. I have my theories, of course, but they are just that.

Silence fell on them once more but not for long. -I lost all control of it. -Dahlia gave her a puzzled look. -My metamorphmagi. I’m loosing my grip on it; I-I keep turning into _her_.

-You turned into me just fine. -she pointed out.- And your McGonagall impersonation was great too.

Andromeda sighed. - Yeah but when I got distracted my face changed on its own. And earlier I was…I was just thinking about her and I just-I…all of a sudden I was her. I...I am lonely, most of the time...And every day I-it’s like I’m a spectator of my own life. Ever since that night I have trouble choosing; I can’t make a single decision because it-it paralyses me.

-What does?

-Fear.- she hadn’t seen it clearly before, but now that she said it out loud she knew it was right.- The fear that I’ll get it wrong, that I’ll make the wrong decision. Do you remember that night, when she told you to take the first years to our common room?

Dahlia nodded slowly again, honey eyes haunted.

-She told you to get them to safety while she left to join the rest of the Slytherins who still wanted to fight. - Andy swallowed hard, the memories feeling like a knife through the heart. - And I-I _chose_ to go with you and help get them down there. And then you told me to go find Poppy and…I did but I…I couldn’t…I wasn’t fast enough to…to stop it.- she choked out a sob and took in a deep breath- And maybe if I hadn’t…if I had gone with her maybe she would still be alive, you know? And I’m…I’m forever scared that I’ll make the wrong choice _again_ , and…and I know it’s stupid ‘cause the battle’s over and no one’s going to die if I make a mistake but I just…I can’t…-before she knew she was crying again; quieter this time, tears rolling down her cheeks in silence. - I miss her so much Dals.

Dahlia put an arm behind her, letting Andy's head rest on her shoulder and rocking slightly sideways. –I miss her too, Andy.-she mumbled, her voice shaky- I get super confrontational at times...I think you've noticed?- she asked after a pause. Andy barely nodded.- It’s more frequent than before. I think it’s because of that night too... A few moments after you left I-I found some older Slytherins down there and they told me they would take care of the kids if I wanted to; they said I could go help you guys. But when I was right at the door I…I hesitated. I was scared and I thought “maybe they need me here, maybe I can help by making them feel safe or something”, but it actually terrified me to go back out there. The thought of you and Poppy against those Death Eaters snapped me out of it but when I got there it was…already too late. And I guess that later I thought, that if I had taken action earlier, if I had opted for the brave thing, the bold thing instead of the safe one then maybe I could have prevented…-she sniffed and cleared her throat again.

-I don’t know if we could have saved her,- she confessed after a while- I really don’t. My mum always says that whenever someone dies is because it was their time to go, regardless of whether it was preventable or not. Maybe she’s right. That night still has a lot of effects on us; and Andy you said you were forever scared of making a mistake but I don’t think you’ll be scared forever, the same as I won’t be a reckless little shit forever.- she said and allowed herself a smile when Andy snorted.- Look, we have a lot to work on, but we’ll get there. We have each other; -she turned her wrist to check the tattoo on its inner side. It hadn’t gone anywhere; this muggle magic was good. – so everything will be okay. Tell me when you feel lonely, no matter how frequent it is, I'll be there for you. And we could try that thing your dad suggested, how did he call it? The tri- no, no, it was with “th”; the thrys…thersp…

-Therapist.- Andy giggled. Her dad had suggested they went to see one. She had put it off saying there were no magic-aware therapists but she had never bothered to check either. But perhaps Dahlia was right and they should. It was about time she decided opon something anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, again, I saw a headcannon on tumblr about how the Slytherins kept the first years of every House safe in their common room during the Battle and I loved the idea and I though it would be nice for Dahlia to do it since I thought of her as the mum friend and someone very good with children.  
> I wanted to add that in the first chapter Dahlia comes so quickly to the conclusion that she was attacked for being a pureblood because of the letters she had received.  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it, the third and last chapter is on the way!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo here it is finally! I never meant to take to so long to update this but I had kind of built this whole story around one scene of this chapter and I kept procrastinating it because I didn't want to screw it up and I kept thinking I would write it when I got inspired and could write it just as I had imagined it, but then I figured that would never happen, especially if never did any actual writing hahaha.  
> Anyway, I'm pretty proud of the result even if it's not all that I had imagined, so I hope you like it! (Just so you know, there's a reference to choking on blood and being covered in it, nothing too graphic but still, and also some minor swearing)

-I got another one. –Dahlia blurted out covering her mouth with her hand trying to keep her voice down to avoid Professor Flitwick’s attention.

It took Andy a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. - What? Another letter? –her friend simply nodded- When?

-It was already here when I arrived.

Only then did she notice the small ball of crumpled parchment in the seeker’s hand. Some red lines and letters were still visible but not fully understandable words.

-Did you see anyone put it in your desk? Or lurking around or…?

-I got here first. –she said quietly. – Or at least I thought so.

It had been a few peaceful weeks since Dahlia or the rest of the team (her friend had checked at the meetings) had gotten any hate mail and just when Andy thought it might be over for good, _this_ happened. The world seemed to slightly shift, the colours dulled a bit and something a lot like impotence and rage flared in her eyes and curled her hands into fists.

The rest of the class, however, remained clueless about the outrageous situation and that somehow angered her more. _It’s not their fault; they have no way of knowing_. She couldn’t help but think that both, the Gryffindors dozing off right under Flitwick’s nose and the ones actually listening knew, though. They had to know. As far as Andy knew they probably had written _all_ the letters. _That’s too big a generalisation to make. And a far too biased one._

-But it’s alright, Ands. –Dahlia’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. –I know I shouldn’t listen to a thing they say.

-I’m sorry.

Some of the sadness must have shown in the look Andy gave her for she repeated.- It’s fine.

It wasn’t. It was good that Dahlia knew the content of the letters was absolute bullshit and she shouldn’t give it a single moment of her time. But in spite of that and the fact that she looked better and more confident than when she had first told Andy about the letters, (she still had her bad days, of course, but at least now she wasn’t alone in them) it wasn’t _fine_. She shouldn’t have to put up with that. She didn’t _deserve_ that.

Someone was thrusting a paper to her face.

-What’s this?

-A parchment.

Andy rolled her eyes. –I meant, what do I have to do with it?

Gaven rolled his eyes in return. –Write down what you wan to do when you get out of here and pass it on. –He turned around carrying the last few words and an insult with him and that was the end of it.

Why they were discussing their plans for their future in Professor Flitwick’s class Andy did not know. Granted, she hadn’t been paying attention and had missed the context, but carrier counseling had happened last year already and she was pretty sure it had no place in Flitwick’s program now. Yet again, a lot had happened since the previous year, a lot had changed, so maybe the Professor’s attempt at something new wasn’t so farfetched? Maybe he was trying to motivate them, to remind them of the future that was still, despite everything, worth living and (technically) free after the Battle. Or maybe he wanted to give them a chance to know each other better. Some, or perhaps even most of, the events that had led to last year’s bloodshed might have been avoided if both students and professors had made an effort to understand each other; to see that their differences shouldn’t keep them apart; to learn from each other; to make Hogwarts feel safe and home-like. You cannot love what you don’t know, or at least that was what her father said. Maybe Professor Flitwick had chosen to give love a chance.

Poppy had been indecisive at first about what she wanted to become when she finished school. When they were younger she had dreamed of becoming a famous Quidditch player and travelling around the whole wizarding world. She had also wanted to be an astronaut, and had even helped Andy set up the secret astronomy club. But later she had narrowed it down to either Headmistress of Hogwarts or an important job in the Ministry. She had given it a lot of thought; how she would change things, do them differently so that everyone, muggle borns, purebloods, werewolves, whoever they were, were welcome and had the _actual_ same opportunities. She would have loved a chance to tell the whole class about it and Andy would have loved to listen to her one more time.

-Ands. _Ands_ it’s your turn. -The paper rustled a bit as Dahlia settled it down in front of her.

Andy picked up her quill and fed it some ink as she stared at the page. Above the space free for her to use, Dahlia’s handwriting, immaculate even in a rush, read clearly “Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher.” She was pleased to find the Battle had not stolen her friend’s life-long dream from her, although it was hardly surprising. Once Dahlia Flynn got an idea into her head it was nearly impossible pull it out.

She stopped dead on her tracks at the previous line. The way the letters curved and seemed to lean to the right, how the ‘ts’ looked like and ‘l’ with a stick across and how the black ink was slashed by red, as though the quill hadn’t been properly clean.

It was the _same_ handwriting, there was no questioning it. Still, she wanted to be 100% sure. She quickly reached under Dahlia’s desk and ignoring her quiet protests compared the letter with the words “Quidditch player”. It was the same.

_Gaven gave me the list. He must have been the last one to write._

She was on her feet before she even realized.

-Miss Yamazaki, is everything alright? –Professor Flitwick asked.

-Andy what are you doing? –Dahlia hissed.

Or at least it could have been her. Andromeda couldn’t hear them over the blood rushing in her ears and the way her mind blurred everything around but her target.

-Gaven? –she asked as she poked him with a finger. The boy turned and she punched him square in the face, so hard his lip actually broke.

Professor Flitwick audibly gasped along with some students. Others just laughed, Slytherins and Gryffidors alike. Maybe Gaven Acker wasn’t as popular a guy as he fancied himself.

The rest happened too fast for Andy’s brain to register it completely, or at least it seemed so to her. Professor Flitwick was spluttering orders and something along the lines of _a to be determined punishment for your actions Miss Yamazaki_ ; her classmates were scrambling around her, talking and shouting, though it all sounded like buzzing bees to her; and before she knew, one of them had walked her up to Professor McGonagall’s office.

 _Shit_.

Something tensed at the top of her stomach.

It wasn’t the first and it probably wouldn’t be the last time she got sent to the Headmaster’s office. But never on her own; never because of something only _she_ had done.

A tingling eased the tight knot inside of her. A tingling that almost felt like tickles and pulled upwards the corner of her lips.

This was something _she_ had done. It had been _her_ decision to hit Gaven, maybe driven by impulse and the heat of the moment, but her decision all the same. And yes, maybe she had gotten into trouble because of it but she done crazier things following Dahlia’s carefully thought plans and Poppy’s leadership, and she had managed to talk themselves out of those situations. Most times at least.

She would be fine; she would talk herself out of this as well. And getting to see Gaven’s bewildered expression and Dahlia’s both shocked and ecstatic smile had been worth it.

-I’ll be fine. –she repeated as she knocked on the door and waited.

**…**

-So, Miss Yamazaki, how have you been?

Andy almost choked on the tea the Headmistress had served her. It clearly wasn’t the question she had expected but what baffled her most was Professor McGonagall’s tone. It was simple, but the space between the words had a tempo, a sort of rhythm that sounded as if it had been carefully thought of. It wasn’t rushed; it was as though she had time to listen. As though she actually _cared_ about the answer.

But determined as she was to keep a blank expression and be done with this as soon as possible, she simply put the cup down and pretended to clear her throat. She didn’t think she had been _that_ convincing though.

-I’m doing alright, Professor.

-Are you? –the older woman raised an eyebrow but didn’t let anything else slip. Without waiting for an answer she continued. –I’m rather surprised to see you in this office again, Yamazaki. It is not something I had been looking forward to.

-Last year’s events didn’t leave room for many surprises on my side. A haunted look crossed Professor McGonagall’s eyes before they returned to their usual undaunted state. Andy couldn’t help but stare, trying to remember every little detail and mannerism. It was something she had picked up when she was younger and still figuring out her metamorphmagi and how to properly imitate people. Maybe it was time to go back to her roots.

-Although it _is_ my first time here with you sitting behind that desk, Professor.

She smiled sadly. –You’re right. –her expression changed along with the subject –I apologize for keeping you waiting too long, I was doing some reading. Her words seemed to linger in the air a bit longer after they left her lips and Andy wondered if maybe McGonagall was waiting for her to complete them.

–If I may ask, what were you reading about?

-You.

She was starting not to like the direction this conversation was taking.

-I’m truly sorry about Miss Keir. –she said gravely. – She will be sorely missed.

_She will. But not by you._

-Thank you, Professor. –she replied coldly. Andromeda knew McGonagall was just being polite yet she couldn’t help but turn at least a bit defensive. This woman only knew Poppy from what trouble she got into and her Quidditch performance. She probably didn’t know she had died fighting for Hogwarts and most likely thought her a Death Eater that got what she deserved. How _dared_ she say she would miss her?

-I understand this is a most terribly difficult time for you, Miss Yamazaki, but I am worried about you. Your grades have dropped quite a lot, which I might be able to overlook considering everything that happened last year and the fact that you chose a career that did not completely belong in the wizarding world. However, you _still_ need to sit for your N.E.W.T.S. exams for the subjects that do belong. And on top of that, -she continued, looking at her over her glasses –you have been exhibiting inappropriate behavior for a Hogwarts student. In both occasions it was directed at Mr. Acker and in one of them at other Gryffindor students, which leads me to…

-Excuse me, what? -She forgot all about her “keeping it cool” plan for a second. – Twice you say?

_If I’m going to be blamed for something at least let it be for something I **actually** did._

Professor McGonagall was not taken aback by Andy’s tone. –Did you not strike Mr. Acker in the face just mere moments ago? –the young witch nodded – And have you not impersonate me and, while doing so, punished some students of my House, Mr. Acker included, weeks ago?

Andromeda winced inwardly. It had happened so quickly she had forgotten about that.

-I, um, I did, Professor.

McGonagall straightened in her chair. –It’s good that you own up to your actions. –She nodded approvingly. - As I was saying, this leads me to believe there is a certain rivalry between the two of you of which I do not know the origin.

_Maybe because he is a dick._

-But I will ask that you apologize to him and then we’ll discuss your punishment.

_WHAT!?_

This was far too much. She could handle being chastised, costing her House some of the precious points they worked so hard to obtain or whatever punishment Professor McGonagall decided on; but _apologizing_? To that tosser? To the guy who picked on younger kids? The one who bullied her friends? _It was a big fucking no._

-I won’t do it. –she muttered.

-And why is that, Miss Yamazaki? -the older woman raised her eyebrows, as if challenging her to answer.

Andy rarely took part in dares, or rather she was the one who challenged and got to watch people do stupid stuff to prove themselves; which was…kind of fun actually. But she figured this one was worth breaking the habit.

-Because Gaven is a bully. –McGonagall’s silence prompted her to continue – He hates Slytherins so much that his mates and him were terrorizing some eleven-year olds the other day. That was why I impersonated you. He sent hate-mail to most of my House’s Quidditch Team, just for playing there and for being purebloods; and he got students from other Houses to beat up my friends with him. –she had no actual proof of that last part since neither Dahlia or Hugh had been able to identify their attackers save for Kai; yet she was pretty sure Gaven had been involved at least in some way. It would have been a _huge_ coincidence if he hadn’t, and coincidences were rare, let alone one of such magnitude.

After she had finished Professor McGonagall remained so still and quiet Andy wondered if she had heard anything at all. –Well, Miss Yamazaki, -she said suddenly- these are very strong accusations so I will have to talk to Mr. Acker about them and see what he as to say. In any case, your behavior today was…

With every word she spoke, a feeling of helplessness sank deeper and deeper into her, each one a sand grain falling in an hourglass. Frustration gnawed at every nerve and bone inside her and anger filled in the little corners and every empty space it could find. It was useless. Why did she bother? Why did she bother talking to McGonagall if she was just going to dismiss her; if she just completely ignored the issue and chose to focus on Andy’s _unacceptable reaction_? Where was the line drawn? What did kids from Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw or bloody Gryffindor had to do for professors to take action?

Why did she…? What…? Useless; all useless…

-Miss Yamazaki…Miss Yamazaki where are you going?

She hadn’t realized she was halfway to the door. The space between them had turned cold despite the logs cracking cheerfully in the fireplace.

-I have not finished. Why are you leaving? It is not…

-Because I’m _tired_ Professor! –she yelled, all this twisted, beating and almost _alive_ knot of rage and anguish just spouting out as water from the lungs of an almost-drowned. -I’m tired of this…this stupid farce.

Professor McGonagall spoke with carefully measured words; a sculptor mindfully chiseling a statue, deciding which words to add and which ones to cut out. It was one of the things she had always admired of her and, sometimes, especially when she posed as her, she could channel at least a spark of that delicacy. But now Andromeda had run out of the last tiny bit of patience and today she was not a sculptor; she was a bulldozer, running over words with the grace of a tornado.

\- I’m tired of following rules that only apply to some while everyone else can come and go as they please. All my life I’ve tried to follow the rules, at least most of them, wrapping them around myself as a…as a shield, thinking that maybe if I understood them well enough I could bend them on my favour. But they aren’t bendable; they are already broken. And when the rules are broken you-you’re forced to play outside of them or fix them back up if you want to avoid getting cut. That’s what happens to people who play with glass. And I don’t…I don’t want to get cut or broken too. –she took a deep breath, trying to steady the voice that threatened to crack. She breathed quickly, hurriedly, fearing that if she took too long all her strength would abandon her and she would be scared and alone and _silent_ again.

Felix’s words came to mind now. _I thought it would be over after the Battle._

-I’m tired Professor; tired of having to work harder than most. And I’m not…I’m not saying I’ve had to work the hardest, others have it much worse, but I’ve always had to work harder than others to get to some things, to get the same respect some take for granted. Because I’m into science; because I am a woman, because I’m half Japanese and half white, because I’m a half-blood; because I am a _Slytherin_. –the last word spoken proudly, straightening in her chair as if a queen’s crown rested on her head. She hoped Minerva McGonagall would be dazzled by the glint of the emeralds on it. –And I’m _proud_ of these things, I’m _happy_ to be them, - _Even if at times I wasn’t, even if it took me a while to love them, I **am** proud._\- but sometimes it’s hard, Professor. And it shouldn’t be. My House and I shouldn’t be blamed for the actions of our brothers and sisters, as terrible as they may be; but we are. It’s always been like that, but especially the last few years. Ever since the Sorting Ceremony we are labeled, and we’re still so young when that happens. Gryffindors are brave; Ravenclaws are smart; Hufflepuffs are kind and we Slytherins are evil; but in reality we’re all _eleven_. We are labeled but it feels like we are _marked_ , and it’s something we can’t seem to shake off, no matter how much we change, no matter what we do. And for that they cast us away; they wreck our memorials; treat our dead like they got what they deserved; they bully us; they boo at Quidditch players and at kids when they get sorted with us.

We are the evil House but nowhere in the foundation of our House is the word “evil”. I know…I know of the horrible unspeakable things some of my fellow Slytherins have done and there’s probably much more I don’t know of, but so have Ravenclaws or Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs, despite their good reputation. Evil can come from any House, it’s not rooted anywhere, it has no preferences. And yet it’s like there’s room for nothing else in Slytherin but we are…so, _so_ much more than that. –she felt herself swell with pride and her hands and body whole shake with emotion as she sat back on her chair. She wrung the first in a tight knot and hid it under McGonagall’s desk and willed the latter to sit still. She hadn’t finished yet.

–I’m sure you’re aware that there’s a spell that allows girls to go to the boys dorm-rooms and vice versa, aren’t you Professor?

-I am. -The Headmistress of Hogwarts matched her words with a curt nod and a peculiar gleam in her eyes that seemed to Andy as amused approval.

-The one we use now was created by a Ravenclaw, but they based it on the original made by a Slytherin. It was _us_ , and no one _knows_. And we invented so many other good things. We formed clubs; _Poppy_ and _I_ formed a secret club and _no one_ found out because we’re _that_ smart! We’re intelligent and cunning and we work hard for the things we want. And we can be _good_. –she paused and remembered.

Remembered Marcus teaching Dahlia, Poppy and her how to make a bouquet for the Hufflepuff common room after Cedric Diggory’s death; remembered marching with her friends and a small group of Slytherins into the Room of Requirement to join Dumbledore’s Army, ignoring glances thrown over a shoulder and comments whispered behind a hand; remembered Dahlia and other older Slytherins keeping first years hidden and safe in their green room during the Battle, never asking which House they belonged to; remembered Daphne Mallek, aware of the danger and still encouraging her housemates to go and fight even after being sent to the dungeons because _this was their school to_ o; remembered Poppy dying for what she believed was right. She remembered and decided.

-We are _already_ good. We are…and we can be better…if they let us…- she stopped now and swallowed hard, wiping tears from her cheeks.

She opened her mouth and closed it again when her eyes fell upon Professor McGonagall’s. They were blown wide open with a surprise she had never seen colouring them.

-Miss Yamazaki…Andromeda…

Her hands went up in a reflex, freckled fingers tangling in rings of orange hair and only then Andy realized the face the Headmistress was seeing was not her own.

She took a deep breath, trying to picture herself, starting by the details, the little things; the two moles over her left eyebrow; the strong lines of her chin joining her jaw; the strand of hair that she always let loose down her forehead. She pulled herself in and pushed Poppy away, a little melancholic, a little sad.

 _I thought I had it under control._ She hadn’t turned into her in a while, not even when she had tried other faces.

Her heart fluttered, her skin crawled and then it was just her and Professor McGonagall again.

The older witch shifted in her seat. She had gotten a hold of herself by now and every trace of her initial shock had vanished. Andy was not the only one capable of ruling her face.

She cleared her throat- I apologize for my surprise, Miss Yamazaki; I had forgotten you were a metamorphagui.

But Andromeda doubted this crazy-intimidating, smart-looking woman would ever forget anything in her life.-It’s alright if you were surprised, Professor; so was I when it first happened.

-Does this occur to you often? - McGonagall’s gaze was tender, and for an instant it looked so much like her mother’s, so filled with empathy and…and _love_.

She shook her head, avoiding her stare. –It used to, before. But now it’s rarer. It hadn’t happened in quite some time.

She seemed to consider this. –Tell me about her. –Andy looked up, eyes big and brows curved. –Tell me about her. As I recall, Miss Keir’s name was Forba but you always called her Poppy at my class.

She sniffed, more certain now that Professor McGonagall meant it; she had again that expression that said _I want to listen, I care_. She allowed herself a tiny smile. –She never liked her name; it was her mother’s choice, and despite being proud of her muggle heritage, she never let anyone except for her mum call her that. She was grouchy and red, like a poppy, so we started calling her that.

-Who are _we_?

-From the beginning it was Dahlia and I, and later, everyone else.

_“-How did you think we would be able to talk to you if we couldn’t use your name? –Dahlia had asked that day at the train and together they had laughed when the red haired girl couldn’t find an answer._

_-Honestly…I had never thought about that._

_-We’ll find you a nickname then. –Andy had said.”_

-We called her K at first, -she continued –until we settled on Poppy.

Professor McGonagall gestured gently at her forearm. –Is that the reason of your… _tattoo_ , is it?

Andy looked at the base of her wrist, tracing the pale petals of the magnolia, the small ones of the dahlia and then the large ones below them of the poppy. –Sort of. We got them when we were fourteen, the summer before our fourth year.

-It does not move.

A warm feeling spread through her chest and her smile widened. –It’s a muggle one. Poppy took us. She invited Dahlia and I over to spend two weeks at her house in Scotland.

Poppy’s mother had been kind enough to host them despite having very little space; but they had been comfortable and happier than ever in that red cozy house, the three of them huddled together sleeping in front of the fireplace every night. The summer after the Battle, Dahlia and Andy had gone to visit Miss Keir. The lonely woman had hugged them for some solid five minutes on the porch the second she opened the door.

\- We were walking downtown once and saw a tattoo parlor and she seemed to glow and suggested we got one together. The previous year had ended so grimly, you see…

-I remember. –the professor replied and Andromeda got the impression that, despite being only their teacher, she loved them all; Cedric, Fred, Professor Lupin, Potter, maybe even Draco Malfoy, and every other kid who had roamed Hogwarts’ Halls. From the moment they stepped inside the castle’s huge halls and put on the Sorting Hat; she had loved them all. Maybe she had loved her friend too.

-So Poppy thought we all could use a little sunlight. Dahlia took a little more convincing but in the end she gave in; said her parents would go mad when they saw it but that kind of excited her too. The poppy and the dahlia, well, those are pretty obvious; their names and their favourite flowers too. The magnolia is mine. We wanted to get a muggle one, something a bit more permanent and that wasn’t constantly moving and changing.

_“-They’ll last forever, -Poppy had explained to Dahlia –like our friendship.”_

-How did Poppy die? – McGonagall seemed to step lightly on the words, dancing carefully around them and, despite their simplicity, with immense tact.

-I…she died on the Battle. A Death Eater…he threw a spell and it broke the glass door behind her and it…the pieces dug in her throat and she-she couldn’t she couldn’t _breathe_ …she was choking on her blood, I…- Andy lowered her head, blinking away tears, still seeing her hands red and slick, like a pair of elbow-length gloves. –She died on my arms.

She was brusquely pulled into a hug and realized then that while she wasn’t looking, the Headmistress had moved to her side.

Minerva McGonagall…Professor Minerva McGonagall was… _hugging_ her. Right there and then, in that planet, in that timeline; the highest authority of Hogwarts was just…hugging her, comforting her.

-My sweet girl. I’m…so sorry.

It was barely a whisper, her lips had only opened ever so slightly but it still felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs and Andy still gasped softly as the lady she had so often posed as, the one she admired more than she cared to admit, held her tighter as though she tried to set right every wrong the world had done her.

When they pulled back, McGonagall pulled a tin box out of a drawer, offered her a biscuit and took one for herself.

-What was it about? –she asked, voice wobbly. She cleared her throat and answered Andromeda’s question before she could ask it. –The club you two formed; what was it about?

Andy sniffed. She realized now it might have been a mistake telling her; after all, it was a secret club for a reason; the reason being they had to sneak out of bed to have the astronomy tower or the school grounds all for themselves. –It was an astronomy club. I’ve always loved it and so did Poppy and she was upset that no one was teaching us real science here so we set it up together.- And despite having done it a thousand times, that strange sad feeling hadn’t stopped. It felt…wrong, so out of character to talk about Poppy as _did_ and _was_ when she had been the most alive person Andy had ever met.

-At first it was just Slytherins but then the word spread and students from every House started to join. Poppy ended up leaving most of the talks to me; she said that I seemed to like it more than she did and between Quidditch practice and homework she didn’t have time to prepare anything so she just came and listen.

_“-You love the stars more than I do, Ands. – Poppy had told her –You know way more than me too and you’re great at teaching; they all listen to you.”_

-Afterwards we made schedules for presentations so everyone got a turn to talk. It was still our club; we had founded it together but I was the one who run it. I still do.

McGonagall seemed pleased. –There’s no surprise you chose a career in the muggle field of work then. –Andy smiled –If you don’t mind me asking, what _exactly_ do you want to do after you finish school?

-I want to work in the astronomy field, although I’m not sure exactly what yet. -She had to admit –But I _don’t_ want to be an astronaut. –she had been asked that way too many times.

\- What did you have in mind, then?

She curled a strand of hair around her finger. -I was considering space engineering. Building space-ships. –she clarified. –But it’s not only that.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow in amusement. –You say it as if it were a small thing to do, Miss Yamazaki.

Andy couldn’t help the proud smile that curled her lips and plumped her cheeks. - I know, but I want to bring it to the magic world as well; I want to teach _science_ at Hogwarts. Wizards are missing out on _so_ much from the muggle world. I want them to get to know muggle culture…my culture and to give them and muggle-borns the option to study something that integrates one world with the other. I want…I want to _change_ Hogwarts…for the better.

Minerva McGonagall smiled with both teeth and eyes. –I have no doubt you will, Miss Yamazaki. And you’ll probably change the rest of the wizarding world too while you’re at it. –the corners of her mouth tilted down a bit and she wrung her hands together on top of her desk. –Andromeda, as a professor of this respectable institution and as Headmistress of it I…I would like to apologize. I realize I haven’t been fair and that it is my responsibility to look after Hogwarts’ students, _all_ of them, and I haven’t done it, so for that I want to apologize. From now on I will do better and I promise you I will do my very best to cleanse this school of these prejudice and hate that harm us all.

Andy nodded, beaming on the inside because McGonagall seemed certain and determined to make this right in a way Professor Dumbledore never had and, contrary to what many thought, more approachable. –Thank you Professor.

She stood up to leave, but the Headmistress stopped her. She hesitated, as if the idea had come to her just now. –I was hoping we could…keep in touch, in a way. I want you to know you can always come to me if something like what you told me happens again. Or for any problem you may have, for that matter; do not hesitate to come. I…you will always be welcome.

She had to push down the impulse of hugging her; it might not be appropriate just yet. –I…I can’t thank you enough, Professor.

-You may go now. –and as her hand was already turning the doorknob she added. –You’ll do great things, Yamazaki; never doubt it.

Dahlia was waiting for her outside. Andy walked up to her feeling like she had just woken up from a long nap, unsure of what had just happened and the world around her seemingly moving too fast.

-How did it go? Ands are you crying? What happened? -she sounded concerned.

-Don’t worry, everything is fine Dahlia. In fact, it went great; -she put an arm around her shoulder and headed down the stairs- things are starting to look much better for all of us.

Of course Andy wasn’t so naive as to believe everything would be fixed overnight; these prejudices and biases had been around since before she was born, a friendly talk with McGonagall wouldn’t chase pureblood bigots away or heal the hurt some angry muggle-borns were taking out on others. But it was a step on the right direction and she felt hopeful. The road was long but it seemed to be more illuminated now.

-That’s…good. I’m glad to hear you say that. -her friend looked at her like she was had gone mad. –But what do you mean by that?

She smirked-To begin with; I believe Gaven Acker is in big trouble. I don’t think he’ll bother you anymore.

Dahlia’s eyes sparkled. - That’s nice to hear.

-It is. Oh, I almost forgot.

-Mmhm?

-I was thinking we should visit Miss Keir for the holidays.

**…**

Minerva McGonagall leant back on her chair and closed her eyes. She had a lot to do, as usual; lots of things and people waiting for her but she decided to relish on the silence just for a little while longer. The Headmistress office was scarcely a comfortable place to hang out but she thought better in quietness. And right now, she had a lot to think about. She had plenty of wrongs to right, hers and others. That was the thing about being Headmistress of Hogwarts, she wasn’t charged with fixing just her own mistakes but her predecessors’ ones as well. What a treat.

However, thoughts must be accompanied by actions, otherwise, they are just words strung together in one’s mind. There was no use in dwelling in her errors if she couldn’t learn from them and do something about them. And these kids needed her to do that, she had a responsibility towards them and she didn’t intend them to fail again.

She glanced at the empty portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses going back years and years and wondered when had it all gone wrong. When had it been poisoned? Or maybe it was rotten from the very beginning. After all, some legends said Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryffindor never trusted Salazar Slytherin, leaving Helga Hufflepuff out of that sentiment because they deemed her too naive to mistrust anyone. They were already there; two or maybe more stereotypes smashed into one story.

-How come we did nothing? –she questioned them.

No one answered; the wizards of old had apparently decided to take a stroll and were nowhere to be seen.

But maybe that was alright; she needed help, just not theirs. No, she needed someone who knew more about this than her; but not a scholar that had studied and fancied himself an expert in prejudices and bigotry but that at the end of the day could go to sleep comfortably and safe. She needed someone who wouldn’t forget, someone who didn’t have the privilege of living their life without these things affecting them. And she knew exactly who that was.

She pulled out some paper, fed her quill and started writing, asking herself if it was too soon or if it was just the right time to do it.

Andromeda Yamazaki had given her a lot to think about, had made her sorry about plenty of things and most of all, had made her come to a realization: she had forgotten. She had sworn she wouldn’t, but Minerva McGonagall had forgotten. She had forgotten about poor little Olivia McGonagall, who was sharp and soft and had been cursed for her green and silver robes. She had forgotten about the baby cousin one year younger than her, and the funny picture they had made, the little lion and snake walking together down the halls and meeting secretly after bedtime. She had been made to harden on the outside if she was meant to survive in a place that told her _this is what you will be, this is the **only** thing you can be_; and had somehow juggled to keep her warm core. When Olivia had died in the War, fighting with the Order and never getting to see Voldemort being defeated by a one-year old, Minerva McGonagall had promised herself no nice Slytherin would ever be treated the way her cousin had; but maybe, she had misunderstood the matter completely. No, scratch that, she had _definitely_ misunderstood the matter completely.

She finished up the letter, put her seal to it, hand it to her owl and sent him on his way. She was most certainly grieving now, for her daughter, son in law and countless of others, while simultaneously raising little Teddy, but if someone could help her, if someone could teach her, it was Andromeda Tonks.

She turned around her chair so it would face the window and sat back again, contemplating the view. Hogwarts towers rose proudly against the morning sun; a new beginning. She thought of a little tiny grave that was too seeing a new start; a bit worn off and damaged by the elements, but with fresh forget-me-nots every week. Those had always been her favourite.

_I’m getting there now, Olivia; I really am._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was my first time writing McGonagall and I wanted to do her justice so I was a bit unsure of how to do it, I hope it's alright. This chapter has a lot of headcannons, first, one that I saw on a tumblr post I think about Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts (I think I put it in the notes in another chapter but I really like this headcannon); and then the one about Slytherins being in Dumbledore's Army (I refuse to believe no Slytherin wanted to join and/or ended up actually joining). The one about McGonagall's cousin is mine; I wanted to give her family bonds to someone in Slytherin.  
> I realize maybe this whole thing is a bit overdramatic (I'm sorry if it's too much) but I just don't like that almost all Slytherins are presented as bad and that the way that whole House is treated was never addressed as an issue in the series.  
> I chose to call Poppy Forba because it's a Scottish name that means "headstrong" and when I pictured her it was as a very straight-forward person, who is very clear about what she wants but also a bit stubborn so I thought the name suited her well.  
> These notes were too long sorry =)


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